Sometimes what looks like self-centeredness is really a life arranged so carefully around self-protection that nothing, and no one, is allowed to matter enough to wound it.
Field Notes
We often talk about narcissism as if it begins with too much love of the self. But sometimes it seems to begin with the fear of loving anything outside the self at all. If attachment means vulnerability, disappointment, dependence, or grief, then keeping everything organized around yourself can start to feel like the safest possible strategy.
Over time, that protection can look like independence, success, even strength. The life becomes polished, self-sufficient, and hard to disturb. But when a person builds a world in which nothing can hurt them, they may also be building a world in which nothing can truly reach them.