A life can be arranged entirely around the self without ever becoming a loving relationship with oneself.
Field Notes
We often mistake self-preoccupation for self-love. But surrounding ourselves with comfort, status, stimulation, and control can still leave us strangely unrelated to ourselves.
Perhaps selfishness is not excessive self-love at all, but the absence of it: an endless attempt to serve the self without ever learning how to know, respect, or care for it.