Sometimes what looks like longing for closeness is really the fear of being left to carry oneself.
Field Notes
The problem is not that he needs care; everyone does. It is that he has learned to recognize love primarily as comfort, admiration, reassurance, and constant availability. The moment she turns toward a life of her own, her separateness can feel to him like rejection.
He may be affectionate, charming, and genuinely wounded without yet knowing how to love another person as a full person. Mature love begins when care is no longer something we only wait to receive, but a capacity we practice—while allowing the person beside us to remain free.